My Bubbling Teapot

What do you do when your life totally falls apart? When it feels like there is no reason to keep living? It could be g rief of loss of loved one. It could be a missing family member in Haiti. Possibly a terminal illness. Or maybe a physical handicap.  Events and situations come into our lives that we didn't sign up for. Who asks to be associated with grief? devastating loss? missing persons? sickness? tragic events? These things give us an identity we don't want, and in fact, wish to run far away from. What am I doing here? Why do I need to wear these labels?  It's like a big sign around my neck:  "Mom of a kidnappee" "Grammie of Damien" "Sister of Esther"  or longer ago, I wore other signs I didn't ask for:  "Member of Schrock family that lost all those children" "Grandchild of that couple killed in car wreck" "Daughter that lost her mom" Often people know us by these things. They address us by asking about ho...

"Grief is real, and is suffered.  You're not crazy if you feel it;  it means you loved someone, deeply." I feel the murky waters of grief pouring over me. I feel sometimes like I'm going crazy. Waves of overwhelming muddy water wash over me. I feel like crocodiles of confusion, sadness, and mental stress are snapping their teeth at me. It's such hard work to keep my head above the stinking brown water of despair. I can't cope with the pull of the depths of this water. Slowly, I'm feeling pulled under by the water of gloom. Yes, I've been here before. I've read and heard and even experienced the stages of grief in the deaths of my mother at 13, the sudden death of 5 nieces and nephews in my 30s, my step mom and my dear grandma in my 40s. Yes, I know them and they are very true and real: 1. SHOCK & DENIAL 2. PAIN & GUILT 3. ANGER & BARGAINING 4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS  5. THE UPWARD TURN  6. RE...

I just wanted to share with you the words of the birth announcement that my brother and wife sent to us this week. "How sweet to hold our newborn baby And feel the pride and joy she gives, But greater still, the calm assurance. This child can face uncertain days, because Christ lives." Jolynn Marie Sent by the One Who holds Carmen, Jana, Carinna, Jerryl, and Craig in His loving arms. Born to Jeff and Carolyn Schrock December 14, 2005, 4:40 P.M. 7 lb., 12 oz., 21 1/2 inches long "Because He lives, we can face tomorrow; Because He lives, all fear is gone, Because we know He holds the future... And life is worth the living, just because He lives." - Gaither What a testimony of God's goodness in their lives.

Isa. 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," saith the Lord. This is the verse I've been clinging to this last month when a lot of questions have bombarded our minds. Do I really believe in the sovereignty of God? Where was God on November 1 while my brother Jeff was driving to meet his wife Carolyn in Spokane, Washington? Had he turned his back for a brief moment when my five nieces and nephews were tragically killed? Is a death as horrible as this in God's perfect plan? Many people say, "God knows best," but at a time like this it sounded so pat, so trite, so glib. Does God know best? What else can we believe? Even in such a terrible situation, God has been abundantly glorified. He has lavishly poured out His blessing, grace, and strength in the lives of Jeff and Carolyn more than they ever imagined. Does God know best? God has used this for good. His forgiveness has been shown to many people in a very tangible way. We...