The top two questions that people have asked us in the past month has been:
1. How does it feel to be home again?
2. What is it like over there in Poland?
The first question makes a knife turn in my heart. It makes me remember that I’m not even sure where my home really is. I love being here with family and friends, and being in my home state, but at the same time I have the horrible feeling of tears blurring my vision because I’m missing my home and friends in Poland.
The second question makes me want to answer “Duh, it’s just like here,” but I know that would be a very rude answer, so I politely tell them about the climate, the land, and the people. Americans seem surprised that we can grow gardens just like here. They seem surprised that a lot of people have cars. They seem surprised that we have apples and cherries and strawberries and blueberries just like Oregon. I’m not sure where they think we live. Maybe the tropics or Antartica??? (and please, if you were one of the question askers, please don’t take it personally, ok?)
I can’t describe the conflicting feelings of our time in America. We feel so happy and thankful that we could share in the happiness of two weddings, one a very close friend and one sister. And we are ecstatic that two nieces/nephews will be born while we are here. To us, that is extremely special. But then a cloud of sadness pervades our minds as we dread the first time meeting my brother and wife since the November accident and the death of their five children. Our grief makes it a valley of deep sadness and spring of never-ending tears.
It’s so invigorating and exciting to go out my front door and see the beautiful mountains of Oregon and I realize how much I have missed that in the last few years, but I admit missing the chatter of Polish around me, talking to my curious neighbor over the fence, the dogs barking incessantly, the roosters crowing at all hours. I can feel a bit guilty waking up in the morning and not being even sure what I’m going to do that day.
Furloughs are relaxing and stressful, fun and horrible, sad and happy, exciting and boring all at the same time. I can’t begin to describe the emotional journey that it has been for me personally. Don’t hear me saying we aren’t having a great time. I just didn’t realize the roller coaster of emotions that I would be facing right now.
1. How does it feel to be home again?
2. What is it like over there in Poland?
The first question makes a knife turn in my heart. It makes me remember that I’m not even sure where my home really is. I love being here with family and friends, and being in my home state, but at the same time I have the horrible feeling of tears blurring my vision because I’m missing my home and friends in Poland.
The second question makes me want to answer “Duh, it’s just like here,” but I know that would be a very rude answer, so I politely tell them about the climate, the land, and the people. Americans seem surprised that we can grow gardens just like here. They seem surprised that a lot of people have cars. They seem surprised that we have apples and cherries and strawberries and blueberries just like Oregon. I’m not sure where they think we live. Maybe the tropics or Antartica??? (and please, if you were one of the question askers, please don’t take it personally, ok?)
I can’t describe the conflicting feelings of our time in America. We feel so happy and thankful that we could share in the happiness of two weddings, one a very close friend and one sister. And we are ecstatic that two nieces/nephews will be born while we are here. To us, that is extremely special. But then a cloud of sadness pervades our minds as we dread the first time meeting my brother and wife since the November accident and the death of their five children. Our grief makes it a valley of deep sadness and spring of never-ending tears.
It’s so invigorating and exciting to go out my front door and see the beautiful mountains of Oregon and I realize how much I have missed that in the last few years, but I admit missing the chatter of Polish around me, talking to my curious neighbor over the fence, the dogs barking incessantly, the roosters crowing at all hours. I can feel a bit guilty waking up in the morning and not being even sure what I’m going to do that day.
Furloughs are relaxing and stressful, fun and horrible, sad and happy, exciting and boring all at the same time. I can’t begin to describe the emotional journey that it has been for me personally. Don’t hear me saying we aren’t having a great time. I just didn’t realize the roller coaster of emotions that I would be facing right now.
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