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I Feel Needed???!!!

I am beginning to feel more like myself.

It feels like I'm finally finding my place here in Poland after being gone for two and one half months. That's a long time to be away from home. It's long enough to feel a disconnect with what was happening here. When I returned, it was hard to know what to do first...where I belonged...what events to talk about...how to enter into conversations about the summer... After all, when you are gone you just miss out on some things. That's life!

My heart warmed when my Polish friends contacted me the first week we were home. I remember one friend coming to visit me and saying, "It's so good to sit in Laura's house again. We missed you." And "this candle smells so familiar. It reminds me of the times I spent in Laura's house." Yes, those comments made me feel that I will never quite be deleted from my friends' memory, that I do have a place in their hearts. It was comforting to realize that I had friends here that actually missed me and that I can return and once again resume those relationship without starting over.

I well remember two years ago when I returned from furlough, I felt like I had lost some relationships that had taken a lot of time to develop. Some of the friendships that I had spent many hours cultivating seemed to stop abruptly with our leaving and never totally resumed in the same way after that. But this year, I feel like I have a more permanent place in their hearts and it isn't something that totally depends on my presence. What a good feeling!

It does feel good to know that I have a place that I feel needed. Every person longs for such a place. So, I will continue to build on the relationships that I can, and not spend time mourning for the friendships that never seemed meant to be.

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