The Piano Man

I met him four years ago. This quiet, shrunken, grizzly man appeared at our door to tune our piano. Silently, he worked for several hours. He didn't talk more than he had to, but neither did we since we could hardly communicate in Polish.

This morning, he appeared again. Same man, same enormous glasses dangling by a string, same bags of interesting instruments to clean our piano and same slippers that he changed into at the door and shuffled to the living room.

Today he was here four hours. Again, he silently began his work. "Prosze, Pani!" he said one time and motioned me to the keyboard. There littered under the keys were layers of dust as well as a few treasures that had managed to squeeze between the keys. "Wiedzisz (you see)???" he said as he gravely shook his head. "How many years ago did I work on this piano? Six or seven?" I assured him that it had only been four. "Too long!" he continued. "You must have it cleaned every year!" I silently nodded my head. I felt properly reprimanded. He muttered to himself as he continued cleaning, polishing, and adjusting. I had never yet seen him smile.

He stopped two times to go outside and smoke. He asked once for a half cup of hot tea. I thought it would be rude to eat our lunch in front of him, so we asked him if he would like some soup. "Of course, but maybe later," and he once again concentrated intently on his work.

Finally, he was finished. We set the soup in front of him. "Um! This soup is good!" he said. And for the first time I saw him smile. In fact, I could tell he was enjoying it immensely. "Do you cook?" I asked him. "Seldom." He ate like he hadn't enjoyed food for a long time.

Once again, we gathered around the piano, thanking him for all his work. He took Alli's hands in his and helped her play "Happy Birthday." "Do you have grandchildren?" we asked him. A sadness fell over his face. "No, my son died before he had any children. My wife is dead. I'm alone." And he shrugged his thin shoulders in resignation.

My heart went out to him as he gave us this brief glimpse of his lonely life. We invited him to come back again. Will he? Will we have any more chances to influence his life? I like to recall the beaming smile that came over his face as he tasted the soup. Will we have more opportunities to bring joy to his lonely life?

I Feel Needed???!!!

I am beginning to feel more like myself.

It feels like I'm finally finding my place here in Poland after being gone for two and one half months. That's a long time to be away from home. It's long enough to feel a disconnect with what was happening here. When I returned, it was hard to know what to do first...where I belonged...what events to talk about...how to enter into conversations about the summer... After all, when you are gone you just miss out on some things. That's life!

My heart warmed when my Polish friends contacted me the first week we were home. I remember one friend coming to visit me and saying, "It's so good to sit in Laura's house again. We missed you." And "this candle smells so familiar. It reminds me of the times I spent in Laura's house." Yes, those comments made me feel that I will never quite be deleted from my friends' memory, that I do have a place in their hearts. It was comforting to realize that I had friends here that actually missed me and that I can return and once again resume those relationship without starting over.

I well remember two years ago when I returned from furlough, I felt like I had lost some relationships that had taken a lot of time to develop. Some of the friendships that I had spent many hours cultivating seemed to stop abruptly with our leaving and never totally resumed in the same way after that. But this year, I feel like I have a more permanent place in their hearts and it isn't something that totally depends on my presence. What a good feeling!

It does feel good to know that I have a place that I feel needed. Every person longs for such a place. So, I will continue to build on the relationships that I can, and not spend time mourning for the friendships that never seemed meant to be.

Is There Healing???

My heart goes out in deep sympathy to the families of the five children that were killed in the village of Nickel Mine. I know what it is to grieve for five children and I think that a situation such as this would be especially painful and tramautic. Is there healing?

How can one imagine the trauma and fear of the remaining children of this Amish school? I can't imagine the road they must walk through this valley of grief. I read that the teacher of this school said, "Me and the children need each other." So true! It is being together, facing the future together that they will begin to find healing.

It brought back starkly the deep grief that my brother and his wife faced (Can it be???!!!) now almost one year ago. When we visited them this summer, there were so many emotions for me to face once again. It was important for me to see them going on with their life, seeing them laughing and talking , crying with them again, and taking time to go see the five small gravestones in the pine-groved cemetary on the hill. How healing it was for me to be there! I felt that my heart had to catch up with the grieving that my family has been going through together for the past year. Yes, I can testify, there is healing! But memories still bring many tears.

So it isn't hard for me to grieve with the families in Pennsylvania right now. God will give them grace as he has given our family, God will help them laugh again even though right now it seems impossible, God will be there for them. This is my confidence! Thank God for His healing power!