Is it a sign of old age? Or is it the fact that change has been constant in our lives this past five years? Our life has catapulted from one drama to the next in the few short years of leaving the ministry of our dreams--Poland.
We brought our family of six home from the mission field in Dec 2011, one of the hardest moves we ever made. So many questions in our minds. Was it the right time? How will our teens integrate American/Mennonite culture? Did we make a mistake?
Two months after returning, I got pregnant. My baby was thirteen. What a roller coaster of emotion for us! But now our nearly four-year-old is an integral part of our home. She will never remember our adventures in Europe but she will make different memories with our family.
One reason we moved back was to be near my mom who was fighting cancer. I will never regret that decision. We had over three years with her, a time for my children to learn to know their grandma, before she passed away now almost eighteen months ago. Another change!
Just a short time after that huge grief, my younger sister found out she had cancer. Lord, what are you doing? How hard it was to watch her helplessly as she bravely faced surgery, chemo, and radiation. Her spunk and humor got us through this journey. She is now officially a cancer-survivor but I know she will never be the same person. God has truly made her even more beautiful.
One year ago, John was ordained minister at our church in preparation for outreach. God beautifully assured me this was indeed what He was asking of us. "God, when is it enough?" I asked many times. "I'm not sure I can do more changes." And so we accepted this new role, not an easy one to fill.
Then, our church going through choosing ten families to plant a church in another place. "God, you won't ask me to do this yet, will you? I'm so needed here--Dad, Esther, John's mom living on our property," My list was really impressive. It really felt God was just testing us to see where our commitment really was. During out time of intense struggle of keeping our names in the pool, our youngest son said, "Dad, God has always taken care of us before, He will take care of us again." We were especially worried about the big debt we had incurred while in Poland. Was God really asking us to give up and uproot again? "Lord, isn't it time you picked on someone else?" I asked.
But the Lord has other plans. We were chosen for this new church. After many meetings and votes and tears, our group together chose somewhere near Prineville, OR. This is where we will build new memories with our youngest, this will be the home she remembers. Many questions remain but I do know God has always been there in each of our huge transitions and He won't leave us now. I want to embrace this new change and make it all God wants it to be.
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