My Bubbling Teapot

 Thoughts on Genesis 1-3 My God, Elohim, Creator of heaven and earth, and Creator of me. This is a personal reminder of his great plan for me.  We are living symbols on earth of His own self. He put within us the "breath of life." Something only He can give. The first covenant was broken by man, but praise be to my Creator, he provided a second covenant to bring us back to Him! Jesus paid the blood atonement for my sins and conquered death forever. Though our bodies die and decay, the Lord, my God will again plant the tree of life (Rev. 22:2) and we can once again experience an Eden (delight, a land of happiness) when we die and go to be with our Creator, our Redeemer, our Lord. The path of the just is as a shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. -Prov. 4:18

What do you do when your life totally falls apart? When it feels like there is no reason to keep living? It could be g rief of loss of loved one. It could be a missing family member in Haiti. Possibly a terminal illness. Or maybe a physical handicap.  Events and situations come into our lives that we didn't sign up for. Who asks to be associated with grief? devastating loss? missing persons? sickness? tragic events? These things give us an identity we don't want, and in fact, wish to run far away from. What am I doing here? Why do I need to wear these labels?  It's like a big sign around my neck:  "Mom of a kidnappee" "Grammie of Damien" "Sister of Esther"  or longer ago, I wore other signs I didn't ask for:  "Member of Schrock family that lost all those children" "Grandchild of that couple killed in car wreck" "Daughter that lost her mom" Often people know us by these things. They address us by asking about ho...

 And as the days crawled by...maybe by the wedding...maybe by Thanksgiving...those days and weeks were pure torture for my soul. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't pray, I wasn't functioning well emotionally. Yet we went through the motions. I along with all the mother's of the boys in captivity had the same thoughts in our minds...if the captives had their way we knew the women and children would be released first...we knew our son may be the last one remaining in the camp. And then what?...would my son be the one that would die for the sake of the rest of this group. So many tears were shed...yet, we felt a strange peace. I share with you the letter I wrote after their release.                                                                                        ...

One year ago, we had the wonderful news that two had been released from the gangster camp. And we also learned they were safe and all together and in good spirits. What balm to our ears. It's not much to ease any anxiety, but it was enough for the next few weeks we faced. It was also one year ago today that we celebrated a bittersweet day, the wedding day of our daughter. Here is what I wrote over this time.  December 7, 2021 Thirty days…forty days…fifty days…as we waited we began to look at the symbolism of these numbers. Biblically thirty symbolizes a man’s dedication to work or to a certain task…Forty symbolizes a period of testing, trial or probation…Fifty deliverance or freedom from a burden. As each of these days of significance in captivity came and went we thought surely on one of these days we would see a miraculous deliverance. But it hasn’t been. We continue to wait, to fast, to cry, and to pray. As Allison’s wedding day approached, so much uncertainty rested on us. H...

Austin and Cherilyn on their wedding day Who would have imagined just one year ago that our dear son would be married to the beautiful girl he was in gangster camp with for 62 days? And not only that, but expecting their first child to be born in June? Who would have thought one year ago that we would be here today struggling with the whole story of our lives? I want to share some of my thoughts that I wrote during that time just to try to process the whole thing. It's been big and bittersweet, this kidnapping journey, a year later. (sorry to all who read this one year ago)   October 31, 2021 When has two weeks ever been so long? “You son is among a group of seventeen who were kidnapped,” came the words over the phone on Saturday morning, October 16. Kidnapped? We had just received word that he had landed in Haiti the evening before. Planning to spend 4-6 months down there helping the victims of the recent earthquake, our son planned to spend the weekend at the Christian Aid Mini...

"Grief is real, and is suffered.  You're not crazy if you feel it;  it means you loved someone, deeply." I feel the murky waters of grief pouring over me. I feel sometimes like I'm going crazy. Waves of overwhelming muddy water wash over me. I feel like crocodiles of confusion, sadness, and mental stress are snapping their teeth at me. It's such hard work to keep my head above the stinking brown water of despair. I can't cope with the pull of the depths of this water. Slowly, I'm feeling pulled under by the water of gloom. Yes, I've been here before. I've read and heard and even experienced the stages of grief in the deaths of my mother at 13, the sudden death of 5 nieces and nephews in my 30s, my step mom and my dear grandma in my 40s. Yes, I know them and they are very true and real: 1. SHOCK & DENIAL 2. PAIN & GUILT 3. ANGER & BARGAINING 4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS  5. THE UPWARD TURN  6. RE...

Some days I feel like I'm pouring out more than I'm receiving and I can feel downright sorry for myself. I screenshot this and sent it to my husband sighing to think of some truly romantic evening away. I'm ready when you are, I typed. This morning, I read the verse, "You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with JOY IN YOUR PRESENCE, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." PS. 16:11. Today I'm finding joy in the presence of God. Many times I can't understand the way He directs my life and the things He brings, but I claim this promise of JOY even when I feel like we are insanely busy. Would you be poured out like wine upon the altar for Me?  (I'm not sure if I have the strength, Lord) Would you be broken like bread to feed the hungry? (I'd rather just live my comfortable little life, Lord) Would you be so one with Me that you would do just as I will? (I want to, but sometimes I shrink from what you might ask) Wo...

The weekend went way too fast and now that it's all history, I can hardly believe it ever happened. I couldn't have been happier when we decided to take the whole family back to Pennsylvania for weekend Youth Conference where John was one of the guest speakers. And the bonus was it was the church where Austin attends while he is teaching. Conrad decided to join us also and he flew in from WA. I hope we didn't traumatize anyone by descending upon their community, but they were very gracious hosts. They gave us a guesthouse with enough room for us all. That was a tremendous gift. It allowed us time together with Austin after all the scheduled Menno meals and snacks. :) I chose to treasure the moments we had as a family. Nothing big and earthshaking, but a feeling of settled contentment of being together. It was a pleasure to see where Austin churches and teaches and lives, and watching him in his world. And I discovered this wasn't my little boy anymore, but some...

Is it a sign of old age? Or is it the fact that change has been constant in our lives this past five years? Our life has catapulted from one drama to the next in the few short years of leaving the ministry of our dreams--Poland. We brought our family of six home from the mission field in Dec 2011, one of the hardest moves we ever made. So many questions in our minds. Was it the right time? How will our teens integrate American/Mennonite culture? Did we make a mistake?  Two months after returning, I got pregnant. My baby was thirteen. What a roller coaster of emotion for us! But now our nearly four-year-old is an integral part of our home. She will never remember our adventures in Europe but she will make different memories with our family. One reason we moved back was to be near my mom who was fighting cancer. I will never regret that decision. We had over three years with her, a time for my children to learn to know their grandma, before she passed away now almost eight...

It all started with a question. "Mom, what would you and dad think if I entered this writing contest? The winner will be given a scholarship toward a pilot's license." What would it matter? We were in the throes of moving across the ocean and the last thing I wanted was another decision to make. I knew my son's dream was to fly, and maybe this would be the thing that would "scratch that itch." After all, he wouldn't win. What are the odds anyway? "Sure, why not?" And so he did. His essay said a lot about his dream to learn to fly so he could use it in mission work one day. His mother cringed every time he talked about his dream. "Lord, at least keep him on the ground," I prayed. And...you guessed it...he did win. "Lord, I knew I was giving him roots and wings, but does it have to be so literal?" His face was a wreath of smiles when the check came for over $3000. Enough to pay for a large part of his pilot's licens...

God had a plan for my forties. It wasn't anything I ever dreamed of but it has brought our family tremendous joy. Amanda Jean joined our family 10 months ago and like my son said, "How can it be that it feels like she was always a part of us?" Yes indeed. She has been our ray of sunshine. Our twenty-one -year old son drove home that first weekend, nine long hours, just to welcome his little sister.   My husband and I agree on one thing~God intended young people to have children. We don't have as much energy as we did with our other children. Sometimes we feel old but other times a baby brings us back into a world of youth. One of my siblings said, "Poor Amanda! She will be growing up in the old people's home." I hope not.   Some of the things I love about having a baby at this stage of my life: 1. A priceless gift is seeing my teenagers playing with a baby. It brings such joy to my heart. 2. I have a connection with the young mothers at ch...

Turning 40 this year for me was such a combination of feelings--my mom didn't live to see her 40th birthday. She was so young to die--my age almost exactly. As my birthday was approaching this year, I felt myself growing reflective. What thoughts were in her mind when she thought about leaving all her children at such tender young ages? Did she think about the fact that she probably wouldn't live life after 40? How would it be to be so sick and helpless and watching your children grieve your dying? Many thoughts about her life have been on my mind this year. Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember what she looked like and how her voice sounded. Her image can become so fuzzy in my mind. It seems so long ago that I saw her and touched her. One wonderful night, I dreamed about her and in my dream, she was just as I remembered her--her blue eyes, her nicely-shaped nose, her smile--her whole self in great detail, every part was chiseled again in my mind. She look...

I'm officially moving to xanga. Please come visit me there. I might be back someday, but right now xanga is more user friendly and a lot of my friends are over there. Sorry, bloggers. My address is: http://www.xanga.com/bubblingteapot

I never thought I would stoop to such things. When visiting other homes as a teenager, I disdained the clutter of child’s paintings on the refrigerator. I scoffed at the messiness of obvious child’s experiments in jars in the corner, in egg cartons on the windowsill, on newspaper spread on the table. I vowed my house would be neat, immaculate, and free of childish clutter. I would have an “art gallery” in some out-of-the-way place. Caterpillars would stay outside where they belonged. Clay projects could dry in the garage. My refrigerator would not become a bulletin board. But guess what I discovered? I couldn’t destroy the “beautiful” drawing that my son labored over for hours. How could I throw away the ugly plastic cup with one forlorn flower drooping lifelessly over the side? I remembered my daughter’s gleeful smile when she proudly held out a dandelion clutched in her grimy hand. I never thought I would have a garden growing on my windowsill from the seeds that my son carefully col...

Life has precious moments of blessings. I would like to share three with you. (1)Last weekend our church enjoyed a weekend retreat at a a Christian retreat center. Our theme was prayer and I felt God nudging me to spend more time with Him. Thanks, Lavern and Lolita, for planning such a great weekend! (2) Corleen led a "children's choir" on Sunday morning. It was awesome, Cor!! And the message powerful! Thanks, children!!! The children singing "Love is a Flag" (3) Robin's sister, Caia spent some time here and she blessed me in so many little ways. Thanks, Caia! You were a blessing! She sewed Allison and Hadassah, and Annaliese all look-alikes!!! What a thoughtful gift. Our girlies were happy to wear them at the weekend retreat. It was especially appreciated since I don't seem to find much time to sew recently! (or is that ever?) The three girls wearing their dresses with Caia!!!

Today I'm making monster cookies. And I'm realizing how many American ingredients it takes--peanut butter (ok, we CAN buy it here, but it is expensive and not very good), brown sugar, corn syrup, and chocolate chips. That's a long list of things I can't get here. So, I try not to make these kinds of cookies too often. More substitutes (this time some dressings I like that I can't buy here): Ranch Dressing 1 cup buttermilk 1 cup mayonnaise 1/4 tsp. onion salt, garlic salt, celery salt 1/8 tsp. pepper 1/2 tsp. parsley flakes Mix together and use on your favorite salads! French Dressing 1 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup sugar 2 Tbsp. vinegar 1/4 cup ketchup 1 tsp. mustard 1 tsp. paprika 1/4 tsp. salt 2 tsp. water 1/4 cup oil Mix and serve! Italian Dressing 2/3 cup cold water 1/3 cup oil 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar 2 tsp. onion powder 1 Tbsp. sugar 1/8 tsp.pepper, allspice, paprika 1 tsp. celery salt, garlic powder 1/4 tsp. oregano 2 soda crackers Combine in blender. Blend until...

Trying to follow an American recipe in Poland can be a catastrophe. Especially, those recipes that say "Quick and Easy." About 99% of the time, I must first of all make my substitutes for the time-saving bought ingredients that aren't available over here. After all my dishes are dirty preparing all the ingredients, I can then assemble the recipe. Unfortunately, for me, these recipes become quite complicated. Georgene posted about being faithful in little things. I thought I would post some of the substitutes I've learned to use. Maybe some of you can save some money by preparing your own substitutes. Bisquick Substitute 8 cups flour 4 1/2 Tablespoons baking powder 8 tsp. sugar 2 tsp. cream of tartar 2 tsp. salt 1 3/4 cups shortening Mix until finely crumbled. Store in air-tight container or in the freezer. Sweetened Condensed Milk Substitute 3/4 cup sugar 1 cup powdered milk 1/2 cup warm water Blend in blender until smooth. Chill. Cream Soup Mix 2 cups instant dry m...

...and we found out that is a long ride!!! Friday we took the children on a school field trip. We left at 4 a.m. from home to catch our boat at 8 in the town of Elblag and spent all day riding a boat in the lake region of Poland through canals, over lakes, down rivers, over land (!!!), through locks, and finally docked in the town of Ostroda at 9 pm (a little later than we planned)!!! We saw some awesome scenery, consumed two back-packs full of food, identified birds, talked to other people on the boat, and just relaxed in the sunshine and enjoyed being together as a family. A boat we met coming up the canal from the same company that we were riding with. Yes, the canal just suddenly ended. There were five slopes like this on our trip and a little cart carried the boat and us up a total of three hundred feet during a 6 mile distance. Amazing! And interesting. The little cart like the one we rode up the slope on! The whole crew ready for adventure The Captain and First Mate (that'...

We feel so blessed that God has given us a property of our dreams. There are many questions ahead that could discourage us: Will we as foreigners actually get permisssion by the end of the year to own this piece of land? (as stated in the preliminary contract we signed this week) Will we be able to find all the building materials to build a wooden house instead of the normal block here? Will we find enough volunteers from America to come and spend some time here building our house? If you are interested in maybe a short VS opputunity or would like more details, email us at jolasmucker@terramail.pl . Will we get permission to cut down trees where we want to build our house if it is zoned as forest land? How will we be able to give the time we need to this project with our already busy schedules? Will the money stretch to accomodate all expenses with the extremely weak dollar? Yes, there are no answers right now for these questions. But we choose to trust God. He has led us so far, givi...

Last week was Reflection Week in the Roman Catholic Church and schools actually closed for this holiday. It was created for a very good purpose, to give people a chance to reflect over their lives before Easter. A very good idea in my opinion. But in reality, nothing is different. In fact, the pace of life increases instead of having a spirit of solemn contemplation. Young people hang around town in groups. The streets swarm with a harried crowd racing from store to store to find their Easter baskets and "palm branches." People are wildly beating rugs and feriously washing windows in preparation for their great "Wielkanoc" (Easter). All the town flocks to the market to buy new curtains and rugs for their newly cleaned houses. Actually, the whole country is in a frenzy to make sure that they are following their age-old traditions surrounding Easter. The church is busier than usual, it is true. Many stop for a few minutes of reflection on their way to town. But are t...